It is so hard to discipline in a godly manner when I find myself disciplining around the clock with my two year old! One such example: pulling Rivers clothes out of her drawers. However, Jackson is learning right from wrong and will now come and tell me when he has done "the deed." He grabs my finger to pull me toward the affected room saying,"No. 'Mon,' Mama" (translation: "No. Come on Mama"). The part of me that has become familiar with developmental stages and therapy jargon knows that he is struggling with "impulse control" or that he is learning "in" and "out." If he were to practice more "in" and less "out," we could all just get along!
I have held onto this sheet of recommendations given to us by our children's minister, Charlie Wallace, and his then-preschool coordinator, Ashley Lindler, for the past year. These guidelines were meant to be implemented in our Sunday school classrooms, but they are just as applicable for our life at home. I have referred to them often to refresh my mind and heart with the godly discipline that we should be using with our children.
Guidelines for Discipline
* Prayer should be both your first and your last step toward discipline.
* Give encouragement freely. It is inspiring. Use criticism sparingly. It is self-defeating.
* Reject negative behavior, but accept the child.
* Set reasonable limits (consider the child's age and needs).
* Be consistent.
* When a child needs extra attention, give it to him.
* Correct a child's behavior with love and respect. (If you were in his place, how would you want to be corrected?)
* Avoid embarrassing a child.
* Do not force a child to say, "I'm sorry." He may not be sorry. If you force him to say he is sorry when he is not, you may be teaching him to lie.
* Avoid threats.
* Lower your voice when you must speak to a child about his behavior. Walk to the child's side, kneel to his eye level, look kindly into his eyes, and speak in a low, kind, but firm voice.
* Notice and acknowledge a child's behavior. (Spend most of your time this way and you will not need to take much time correcting misbehavior.)
* Do not force preschoolers to give up toys as a means of teaching sharing. Sharing is voluntarily giving something up to another. Require "taking turns" instead.
* Provide interesting and challenging things to do to reduce the possibility of behavioral problems.
* Give bountiful emotional support to the child who misbehaves. Misbehavior is often a plea for help.
* Let the child learn from the natural or logical consequences of his actions. (If he misuses the blocks, he may not play with the blocks for a while.)
* Help each child feel good about himself. A healthy self-concept is the right of every child made in God's image.
* Avoid saying "hurry." A hurried child is usually a frustrated child, and a frustrated child is usually a child with behavior problems.
