Guidelines for Discipline

It is so hard to discipline in a godly manner when I find myself disciplining around the clock with my two year old! One such example: pulling Rivers clothes out of her drawers. However, Jackson is learning right from wrong and will now come and tell me when he has done "the deed." He grabs my finger to pull me toward the affected room saying,"No. 'Mon,' Mama" (translation: "No. Come on Mama"). The part of me that has become familiar with developmental stages and therapy jargon knows that he is struggling with "impulse control" or that he is learning "in" and "out." If he were to practice more "in" and less "out," we could all just get along!

I have held onto this sheet of recommendations given to us by our children's minister, Charlie Wallace, and his then-preschool coordinator, Ashley Lindler, for the past year. These guidelines were meant to be implemented in our Sunday school classrooms, but they are just as applicable for our life at home. I have referred to them often to refresh my mind and heart with the godly discipline that we should be using with our children.

Guidelines for Discipline

* Prayer should be both your first and your last step toward discipline.

* Give encouragement freely. It is inspiring. Use criticism sparingly. It is self-defeating.

* Reject negative behavior, but accept the child.

* Set reasonable limits (consider the child's age and needs).

* Be consistent.

* When a child needs extra attention, give it to him.

* Correct a child's behavior with love and respect. (If you were in his place, how would you want to be corrected?)

* Avoid embarrassing a child.

* Do not force a child to say, "I'm sorry." He may not be sorry. If you force him to say he is sorry when he is not, you may be teaching him to lie.

* Avoid threats.

* Lower your voice when you must speak to a child about his behavior. Walk to the child's side, kneel to his eye level, look kindly into his eyes, and speak in a low, kind, but firm voice.

* Notice and acknowledge a child's behavior. (Spend most of your time this way and you will not need to take much time correcting misbehavior.)

* Do not force preschoolers to give up toys as a means of teaching sharing. Sharing is voluntarily giving something up to another. Require "taking turns" instead.

* Provide interesting and challenging things to do to reduce the possibility of behavioral problems.

* Give bountiful emotional support to the child who misbehaves. Misbehavior is often a plea for help.

* Let the child learn from the natural or logical consequences of his actions. (If he misuses the blocks, he may not play with the blocks for a while.)

* Help each child feel good about himself. A healthy self-concept is the right of every child made in God's image.

* Avoid saying "hurry." A hurried child is usually a frustrated child, and a frustrated child is usually a child with behavior problems.

The South Carolina State Fair

We had such a great time at the fair last Friday! Daniel and I are die-hard fair fans, so we look forward to this time of year so much! The weather was absolutely perfect: cool and clear.
The view from the top of the Ferris wheel.
Shortly after arriving, we bumped into our friends Joey and Crystal. Jackson and Ellis kept each other company in their strollers while Jake and Rivers rode a few rides together. Crystal and I and Joey and Daniel even managed to race each other on the EuroSlide with the kids on our laps. It was so much fun!

This is a blurry picture of the dragon rollercoaster that Rivers almost FELL out of. Right after I shot this picture, Rivers put her hands up as the car rounded the corner and it appeared as though her upper torso went up slightly over the side of the car. The four of us gasped, and I was shocked that she didn't fall out. We yelled for Jake to hold onto Rivers and for Rivers to hold onto the bar. SCARY!

Rivers loved sharing a corn dog with Jackson.
It's so fun to ride as a family on the Ferris wheel.
All of us shared an elephant ear with cinnamon, sugar, and apples. YUM!
Jackson, you see, is barefoot. He takes his shoes off all of the time now after we just had a great stint of keeping them on. At least he's not licking the pole this year!

Rivers got to be the conductor on the train. She rang the bell the whole time.

We wrapped up with a pretty late night for us...9:30, but we had SO much fun that it was hard to leave!

Happy 2nd Birthday Jackson!

Today was Jackson's 2nd birthday! It is so hard to believe that my youngest child is now 2! We started the day by going into his room and singing "Happy Birthday," which he wasn't the least bit interested in. He only wanted to drink his milk, so off we went. The grandparents, aunts, and uncles came over for a hamburger supper and cake later in the day.

We picked a Blues Clues birthday cake for Jackson simply because it was age appropriate based on the others cakes we had to choose from at Publix. I toyed with the idea of just getting a big number "2" cake and setting a cell phone and keys on top. He's not into television shows at all, except for his Praise Baby DVD, and his favorite "toys" are Daniel's keys and his cell phone. He has very simple tastes! Buddy needed a little bit of help from his big sister to blow out the candles!
the Jackson side of the family

the Crowson side of the family

As if I don't know this already: a "Boys Will Be Boys" t-shirt from Mimi. Isn't that the truth?!
Is this a ride-on toy? Now it is!

I get to do Uncle Eric's shopping for the kids since he LOVES shopping so much. So, among a few other gifts, he gave Jackson the book The ABCs of Carolina. Coming from a huge Clemson fan, all he could do was laugh! Thanks Uncle E!Jackson took a break in between gift opening to fuel up on some birthday cake! Yum!

I love my football Aunt Hannah and Uncle Owen!My first tricycle! Daniel, Rivers, and I gave Jackson his present at the end of the night. He was so adorable! He hopped right on and began to push off with his feet. Next purchase: a helmet!
Rivers trying to make a get away...

My sweet little son! Sweet meaning of course: affectionate, crazy, loving, and loud. You are all rough-and-tumble boy (except when you wear my heels around the house and carry Rivers' pocketbooks). Daddy and I have been amazed at how much you've changed this past year. From a sweet little baby, into a little ball of fire! God has been so faithful to give us a daughter and then a son: one of each to learn and to grow to appreciate the differences and similarities between the two. We love you and are praying for you as you enter your third year of life. Daddy and I are always on your side, so just remember that when you're in time out for the fifth time in one afternoon on the other side of your bedroom door! We'll get through this little stage and will grow closer through it! I'm counting on that! We love you Buddy Bo!

Losing Teeth

Oh what a day it was today! I was called out of Sunday school by Nici Comer because Rivers had fallen and her mouth was bleeding. She was unsure of the details, and of course we hurried down. I immediately started to feel numb as we were walking because I knew it had to be her teeth. Rivers was calmly sitting on a bench beside Mr. James, her Sunday school teacher. The bleeding had pretty well stopped, but when I looked in her mouth to assess the damage, there was her tiny little bicuspid tooth, root and all, dangling by a piece of gum tissue. Bless her heart! Pulling her upper lip up, the little front tooth that Dr. Nieders JUST fixed was forward at a 45 degree angle and the bone above it had shifted with the tooth! I was calm on the outside, but inside my heart just broke for her. I ran up to get Daniel because I needed his support and I was too weak to pull that little dangling bicuspid tooth. He came, and we said we needed to get that tooth out. Mr. James went to get Dr. Jean Smith to come and look at Rivers, but Rivers didn't want him to pull her tooth, so SHE REACHED UP AND PULLED IT HERSELF! Are you kidding? I couldn't believe it! Dr. Smith did come and take a look, and he pushed the bone back into place. She yelled out, of course, and then was ready to sing in children's choir. I was so blessed by her little spirit of perseverance and her heart to sing for the Lord! Don't get me wrong, later, I took a nap and helped sleep off the distress I felt after seeing her that way. Just before going to sleep, I grabbed a little devotion book that was given to me when I was on bed rest with Rivers. I turned to "God Is in the Details" from the book Inspiring Words from the Psalms for Women. Psalm 9:1-2 says: "I will thank you, Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all the marvelous things you have done. I will be filled with joy because of you. I will sing praises to your name, O Most High." My eyes welled up with tears because that is what the preschool choir sang yesterday morning. "I will praise you with all of my heart. With my voice, with my song, I will praise you all day long. I will praise you with all of my heart." A small portion of the story accompanying the scripture said,"Isn't it marvelous? Just when you need Him most, God surrounds you with reminders of His presence...He is evident in a tear...and in the missing front teeth of a five-year-old..." Are you kidding?! God, are you talking to me, or what? Praise God for the ways in which He shows us that He is always there taking care of us and drawing us to Himself!

After naps, we were pulling out of the drive to go to AWANA, and Rivers started to cry in pain. Looking at her tooth again, I realized that it just couldn't be saved at the awkward angle it was at, so I called Dr. Nieders. Rivers and I met him at his office. She straddled my lap and lay down backwards into his so that I could hold her hands while he numbed her and got the tooth out. It was a ROUGH experience, but Dr. Nieders was so patient, understanding, and gentle. Two teeth later, we were ready for the tooth fairy to make a very special trip!

That night, we placed Rivers tooth under the pillow at the foot of her bed, but later, Daniel had to go back in because Rivers didn't want the tooth fairy to come in her room. She even made him check the window to make sure it was locked. Needless to say, our little fairy friend visited and left $2 for her two sweet little teeth along with a little note of encouragement.

Children's Choir

Our sweet little preschool choir sang at church on today. The little 3, 4, and 5 year olds did such a wonderful job singing, "I Will Praise You," "You Comfort Me," and "Jesus Loves Me, Me, Me." I have been so blessed to be able to teach the 3 year old class with Nancy Cordova, Susan Gilfillan, and Julie Livingston. The children are just adorable at this age! It is convicting to hear our little children singing back to us the truths that we are teaching them! Rivers loves any chance she can get to sing!

Country Adventures

On Friday, October 2nd, we took our 4th annual trip to Country Adventures with First Baptist. We always look forward to kicking off our fall with friends: enjoying the animals at the petting zoo, bouncing along on the hayride, and eating hot dogs by the camp fire. This is our favorite time of year!

Rivers and Luke brushing the donkey. Luke, watch that tail there buddy!

Quite possibly my favorite picture of Daniel and Jackson!

Bouncing along on the hayride.

Picking out two perfect pumpkins for herself and Jackson.

Happy Fall Ya'll!

Shopping Trip Disaster

Today, we took our bi-annual shopping trip with Mrs. Crowson to shop for fall clothes for the kids. Don't let these crooked smiles fool you: IT WAS A DISASTER! If Mrs. C had not been with us, they surely would not have ridden on the carousel as a punishment for their behavior. Minus the actual time spent shopping and trying on clothes (the purpose of the trip,) a good time was had by all. Our strategy next spring: leave Jackson at home and don't let Rivers try on all of her clothes. Live and learn. Enough said.
Yet another new trick that I couldn't quite get a picture of: holding his sippy cup between his feet. Rivers, of course, needed a picture taken of her, too.